Happy Wednesday, folks.
Raise your hand if bedtime is a fiasco in your house – swoosh…ugh {mothers everywhere simultaneously throw their arms high into the arm…with a groan}.
It wasn’t always that way for me [and it isn’t any more either, so read on!]
For the first few years of momdom, I had a terrific system.
When the boys were small, after dinner, the three of us would go upstairs.
They’d brush their teeth.
I’d bring them into their dark room, kiss them on the forehead, and they’d go to sleep.
I never experienced:
…just one more glass of water?
…just one more kiss goodnight?
….just one more bedtime story?
Period.
But that wasn’t what made it “terrific” – although I didn’t know that until it wasn’t so “terrific” anymore.
What made it “terrific” was that it worked.
I brought them upstairs when they were tired, and they went to sleep.
Easy breezy.
Zzzzzz…..
But as they got older and outgrew that routine, bedtime became a battle. An hour of in and out of their room – giggling, bed-hopping, begging, and over-the-banister grown-up-TV-spying ensued.
But there’s good news, folks!
A month or so ago I stumbled upon a happy accident.
The boys have a book called Jesus Calling. Over the years, we had thumbed through the pages, but with little more than their indifference.
Recently though, when I picked up the little book and began reading, it was obvious that the kids were entranced by it’s contents.
Each page contains a short daily devotion – only a few paragraphs in length.
But like magic, the kids get into bed, and I read the day’s note from God. They listen intently. Eyes closed. Breaths calm.
They love the stories – they reflect on them.
They listen, and they fall soundly to sleep – in peace.
I have been enjoying our new bedtime routine myself. Those few, slow, minutes with them each night have quickly become a highpoint of my day. And a wonderful way for me to prepare for my own rest.
Last week I personally started a book entitled Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmell. And oddly enough, the secret to why the boys book feels so good to them [and me] is the main premise of the book I am reading.
My Juicy Glad-I-Caught-That: Children want to feel loved. Safe. Secure. Strong. Significant.
And as parents, there are many ways to meet those urgent, innate needs. Kind words. Compassion. Intimate listening.
And instilling how important they are – to us, our community, and God.
Here are some snippets from Jesus Calling:
January 28th: “Because I am with you all the time, every moment in your life can be special.”
February 25th: “Don’t be so rushed that you forget to notice the blessings I fill your day with.”
April 19th: “Do the best you can. And know that I will love you – no matter what!”
October 7th: “All you have to do is tell Me about your worries and fears, and then leave them with Me.”
December 21st: “Don’t be afraid of your weakness.”
How I want my children to feel these things. That they are loved, safe, secure, strong, and significant.
And it starts with us as parents. We need to feel loved, safe, secure, strong, and significant in order to impart those feelings on our children.
Take care of yourself so that you can be that beacon for them.
So that when your child does something “wrong” – you can respond instead of react. So that you are able to catch them doing something “right”. So that they embrace what makes them unique, and can come to you when they feel vulnerable. So that they have hope.
When Colin and Sam listen to their devotion at night, they hear how much God loves them. How they can always come to Him with big and small problems. How His love for them is never-ending.
It’s a lovely way to send them off to dreamland each night.
And I am thankful that we have found “terrific” once again.
I didn’t have to look very far at all.
See you on the flip-side.
In love,
Noelle
xoxox